I'm not much anymore, merely a shell of what I was. I changed my hair, told friends I need a change, and it had nothing to do with him. But that's a lie. I needed a changed because I thought maybe if I looked different, he'd look at me differently. I doubt that will happen though. Such a naive thing to think. I'd like to watch the show this morning, but if I went in the room, I'd probably be kicked or banned. So, I'll have to lurk or go in under an alias. But my wording and grammar are recognizable, I'm not going through the effort of changing the way I speak to stay in. It's not what I'm about. I'll have to lurk, I suppose. I wish we could at least be civil, go back to the entertainer, viewer relationship.